California DMV has just turned 100 years and is suffering from extreme, belligerent, dementia. I do not know what it is about government bureaucracy that turns ordinary people into mind-numbed, rude, automatons, but imagine my going through the hoops, and two appointments (each requiring a two week wait) to get my YOM plates for my vintage trailer registered. Then waiting a month for Sacramento's approval, only to find out that Redlands DMV did not fill out their part of the form before sending in the paperwork. OK, I'll deal, I will just go down to the DMV, show them my plates, and let them fill out that small, 2" x 7" box.
"We can do that, but you must wait in the non-appointment line to get a number."
Wait… you're kidding me, right? You screw up, but I am the one who needs to wait in that long, slow, masochist, I-have-nothing-better-to-do line for you to fix YOUR mistake? Really? No, you're kidding… REALLY? I stormed out, muttering Conservative rants regarding shutting down all such useless entities along with their golden parachute retirements, and using the surplus to pay off our State debts. Made a third appointment for July 9th to fill in that little 2" x 7" box that they failed to fill out a month ago.
This was not the first time I have run into their incompetence. I will not prattle on about getting my deceased dad's vintage car registered, only after weeks of waiting, having Sacramento send back the paperwork saying that my dad needed to sign it. Kinda hard to do seeing that he had been cremated. And what part of "OR" on the title ownership did they not understand? It is only two letters. It's not like that uppity "AND" with its three letter—I mean, that is a toughie, I know. Do they have a required employment aptitude test that if you score average or above they cannot hire you?
As an addendum, I needed to make a simple change to my trailer's registration. The "type" of trailer was listed as a "Coach", when in fact it is a "Camper". The difference meant the that I did not need to pay $99 every year, but rather every 5-years. Each time I went to my local DMV, I was met with "huh? what?". So, I printed out the pages of their own manual, highlighted the portions that says a camper is defined by being under 16 feet from back to tongue. They then asked, "Does it have a bed?" I would reply, "Yes, it's a camper." Pause... "Does it have a kitchen?" "Yes, it's a camper." Pause... "Is it a popup?" "NO, it's a camper! See the picture?" Still confused, the lady I was talking to went to go talk with her manager. The manager looked at the paperwork, and just said "No, we can't do that." She would not even get off her tucas to come talk to me, just said, "We can't do that." Well, they could, but they did not want to. Why? We only pay their salary and retirement. Why should they care about helping us, schmoes? So, I made another appointment in another neighboring town. Their response was, "Yeah, we can do that, just get verification that the trailer is 16 feet. I paid $40, got the verification sheet, then returned with another appointment. The guy said we had everything we needed, so we sent it all to Sacramento. A month later, I got all the papers back with a note saying "We need official verification that the trailer is 16 feet." What, THIS official paper that I paid $40 for!? I was so frustrated, I made another appointment with the neighboring town DMV and drove my trailer there just to have him look at it and say, "DUH, 16 feet!" We just sent BOTH confirmations back to DMV and am still waiting for the results.
UPDATE: ONE YEAR LATER
The above was written in Facebook Notes on June 23, 2015. I am now one-month shy of the one-year anniversary of writing this depressing documentary. After sending the TWO confirmations, plus a letter stating I needed my trailer designated as a camper and not a coach, I received all my paperwork back again stating that they will need $10. What, you couldn't just call me and ask to pay by credit card? OK, fine, $10 and another couple of months later, I get a small, hard, package in the mail— and my heart sank. They sent me a NEW PLATE!! Yes!! Even after a very, clear letter stating that I had YOM plates and to NOT send me new plates… they sent new plates.
Now, remember, each time I make an appointment to DMV, it requires me to take time off of work, use up hours of vacation time, and drive 40 miles round trip to the neighboring DMV office.
I made another appointment at DMV and told them the situation. I could not get past the Start Here window when I was asked to show my physical YOM plates, and my previous registration. OK, make a new appointment, remove my old plates, dig through paperwork to find my previous registration with the YOM plate numbers.
Came in to my appointment today (May 19, 2016). The Start Here woman had me fill out the YOM form again. No problem, except DMV requires you to re-wait in the appointment line after you have filled out a form. So, I waited. Lamenting with the guy behind me who tells me the incredible difference between Arizona and California DMV. The contrast was stark.
I waited 15 minutes to be called to the window. When I got there, I was met by that DMV attitude that made me feel like an employee trying to get along with a bad manager. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as she asked me what the length of the trailer was. I replied "16 feet". I wanted to say, "Don't you DARE ask me that question!!!" She walked away and made a photocopy of my YOM plates. She then said, "These plates are in pretty poor shape." I replied, "What do you expect, they are 70-years old." She then retorted with something like, "What did you expect that I was going to do?" I said nothing. I wanted to say, "Oh, possibly just decide that 'we can't do that', or 'you will need to bring in proof that your trailer is indeed 16 feet', or 'your plates need to be in better condition', or… The possibilities for giving me grief are endless. And if all this hassle for their incompetence was not enough, she ended my visit with, "That will be $12."
It is 6/9/2016 and I got a letter back from DMV Sacramento. They want me to prove my trailer is under 16' in length. If I am sounding like a broken record, it is because they have already asked me to do this three times, and I have provided two, signed documents attesting to this. If you are hearing an echo, it is from the vacancy that seems to be within the skull of Sacramento DMV.
I ignored their last rejection notice as if I never received it. I then wrote up a detailed letter of what I needed done using very small words and color pictures. If this doesn't work, I will personally drive up to Sacramento and do a puppet show for them. "Hi, I'm Mr. Customer... I pay your salary and retirement... I need a PTI sticker for my vintage trailer... it's been over a year."
7/23/2016 - Not bad, almost two months later I finally got my PTI sticker with the temporary registration showing the YOM number!! As soon as I get my actual title, I will call my nightmare officially at an end... for now.
CONCLUSION
The long and short of the matter is that whenever you hear of politicians saying that "we are going to get government to handle this or that to make things better", just remember the DMV. Think about it next time you buy a new or used vehicle, and have to shell out 8% in taxes to fund their incompetence-- let alone their annual theft. Then imagine a privatized version where you had to compete with other offices for those fees. Imagine a free market, non-Union DMV that had to actually greet you with a smile and show a moderate level of customer support. Imagine a web site with user experiences and ratings so you will know to go to "this" company, rather than "that" company. Imagine that. Not if government can help it. And therein lies the problem.
